Posts Tagged ‘relationship help’
How Long Should You Be In A Relationship That Never Progresses?
You know the feeling, he says I love you but I’m really not in love with you. I do not need to breakup but I just require some space. Now you’re looking for some relationship advice.
Lots of people end up in a relationship and before they know it they have been tied up with this person for one or two years yet the relationship never advances. What should you do?
How long should I be in a relationship before I marry or end it?
The very first thing to do is sit down and think about where you need your life to go. Ask how you may feel if one year from now you are in the same position, relationship wise, as you are right now. Decide if that could be a cheerful thought or a frustrating one.
I bet I’ll guess what your answer is on that.
How many nights are you sitting around home while he’s out with his buddies? More and more of the time, if I’m right. You are quite likely to start feeling like a doormat very soon if you are not already.
Often your companion will tell you that they love you to keep you around. The problem is, do their actions back up their words.
While he is out with his friends, getting some space and sorting out his feelings, your life is passing you by. Until you decide your plan of action, they only thing you can do is take command of your life.
Make some goals for your life and for your relationship. Outline some steps to do on a daily basis to attain those goals. Wish to lose some weight, you want to do something. Want to learn a new skill that will help you earn more, then take action.
You don’t need to sit home brooding or wondering about your future, you can plan and do something to control your own future. If you’d like to permit a bum to ride along with you, that is your business. Oh, he isn’t a bum? Then let him show that.
The only reason to be in a long term relationship that never goes anywhere is if that is what you both desire. Remember though that your life is not unlimited; and the older you get the speedier the years go by.
Once your youth, or your health , is gone, it is gone. Use your time well.
We have a longer, more detailed version of this article on our website with even more tips on what to do. Get relationship advice with explicit tips on how to make him love you again at our web site.
The Amazing Second Chance Letter
Perhaps you are one of the people who has had their heart broken and is now choosing to repair their relationship.
Obviously there are thousands of grief stricken people around the world that scour the Internet in search of relationship help.Don’t worry, by mastering the art of writing love letters asking for a second chance, you will soon have your loved one back to your arms in no time.However it’s important to remember that the second chance love letter never talks about a second chance!Otherwise, you are just wasting your time writing the letter.
Here’s a link to the real Second Chance Letter
What is more, you will just be throwing away your one last chance to get your partner back!
Below there are a few tips on what to include in your letter.
1.When making your apology, it does not necessarily mean you will have to say those three words – “I am sorry”.Make the apology sincere and yet touching.Perhaps you can do it by sending a bouquet of flowers along with the letter; or perhaps sending her a box of her favorite perfume while spraying the letter with the perfume you always wore when you were still going out with her.Tell her how you hope this will not be the last time she will remember you.
2. When you are writing the letter make sure you take the blame for everything negative that has happened in the past.You should never try and justify your mistakes because you instantly turn your ex off by doing this.Instead, be strong, take responsibility and your ex will begin to fall for you.
3. Remember that there are only two things you can’t get back, time and things You said.You have already messed up your relationship with this person.Now, be extra careful about what you are going to say in your letter.Or you might just screw up this one last chance to get back with her!
To make sure its not your last chance visit – Get Your Ex Back Book
4. Lastly, you need to make a point of adopting a very refined tone in your letter.To do this, you will need to concentrate on detaching yourself from the past so that there will be respect and very fine demeanor all throughout your letter.This is bound to know which your ex into giving you a second chance with your relationship!
Now its time to get more detial for your Second Chance Letter
5 Relationship Killers And How To Avoid Them
As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the 37 years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers:
CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. This is especially true in relationships between western men and Russian women in America where the woman feels she lacks power in the relationship. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories – overt control and covert control. Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule. Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked. Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.
RESISTANCE
Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and controlled – of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance – withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination. When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant – which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled – the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful.
NEEDINESS
Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner’s job to fill their emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need. A lot of men who prefer international dating experience this, expecting their mail order bride to provide them with instant happiness.
SUBSTANCE AND PROCESS ADDICTIONS
Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their aloneness and loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.
EYES ON PARTNER’S PLATE
Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner’s resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner’s anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner’s addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.
RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP KILLERS
All relationship killers come from fear – of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways.
The way out is to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner’s plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the inner healing work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.
A good place to start is to download our free Inner Bonding course and begin to practice the Six Steps of Inner Bonding. The daily practice of these steps will move you out of your addictive and controlling behavior and into the personal responsibility necessary to heal your relationship.
A Personal Life Coach To Guide You
A personal life coach is someone who can provide insight and guidance, helping us to achieve our potential and facilitate the achievement of our goals. A main presumption of life coaching is that rather than learning something from someone else, a life coach will push us to find answers within our own selves.
The coach is there to open up our awareness of our own ideas and experiences in order for us to find solutions to our own problems and eventually find our own path. People regardless of any background can benefit from this kind of guidance, because life coaching pinpoints that the best way for each of us, is the one that we find for ourselves.
About personal life coaching
A life coach or personal coach is able to help us to find answers about career choices, transitioning from one career to another, entrepreneurial goals, self motivation, guidance with finding a strong work/life balance and find greater self fulfillment. The life coaching process is one in which the coach acts as a facilitator, encouraging the individual to explore their thoughts, ideas and feelings, and to use these as a means to creating a richer life.
What to expect from a life coach
Areas that a personal life coach can help with include career development, self acceptance, self direction, personal growth, relationship growth, improved communication with others and stress management.
Our personal needs and what we hope to accomplish from the coaching will dictate the structure of the coaching sessions. They will be about helping us to gain greater personal insight, and guide us in making decisions about our lives based upon our own desires, aspirations and experience.
Is a life coach the right choice for you?
Finding a good life coach is ultimately about finding one who is a ‘good fit’ for you. Life coach Lisa Page describes the process as being one in which a coach will nurture your ideas and act as a sounding board from which you can get greater personal insight and self awareness. With an equal, respectful relationship with your life coach, personal coaching can be a truly rewarding experience for anyone who has a desire to enrich their life and achieve their full potential.
If you’re considering life coaching, be aware of what you want from the process, be prepared to participate fully in the sessions and find a coach who challenges and inspires you. With the right personal life coach, you’ll find the experience challenging and rewarding.
Relationship Advices From A Personal Life Coach
Women enter into relationships with patterns of behaviour developed over time and may be unaware about the things they normally do that sabotage their relationships. Oftentimes, it is necessary to seek the counsel of a personal life coach whose training in human behavior can provide valuable insights to help save a relationship.
Keys to Intimacy
Trust: Trust is the most important element in a relationship, without it intimacy will not flourish. Their are a lot of women who find it difficult to trust their partners due to a number of reasons but these essentially stems from their inability to trust themselves. Personal life coach Lisa Page maintains that starting with the self, a woman must learn how to get in touch with her deeper sense of knowledge or intuition and trust this feeling to guide her in a relationship. This gut feeling will enable her to choose the right partner and will leave no room for her to doubt him regardless of the signals he sends and whether it triggers doubt or not.
Self esteem: A healthy self esteem is also essential in a relationship because this allows a woman to trust her intuition and act on it. Without self esteem, a woman may be afraid to express herself in a relationship and keep her from being open to intimacy. In many cases, a woman’s trust issues seem to stem from a poor self esteem.
Feminine self: Every woman has a combination of feminine and masculine energies that are at work at various times of the day, depending on her activities. At work, a woman uses her masculine energies when she focuses or directs others to achieve work goals. In a relationship, a woman is her feminine self when she is loving, caring and giving to her partner.
Seeking comfort from others and sharing her feelings are other examples of unique feminine energies. Problems in relationships usually crops up when a woman’s masculine energies are evidently present when around her partner, this causes him to distance himself from her or start a fight with her. To save a relationship, a woman must seek her feminine self to draw a positive masculine energy from her partner.
A woman’s feminine self makes her a relationship’s anchor because qualities like love, trust and respect are rooted in this type of energy. This is why it is possible for a woman to save a marriage that is on the rocks by adjusting specific behaviours that a personal life coach can help her identify in counseling sessions.