Posts Tagged ‘chemistry’
Chemistry Shouldnt Be So Hard
The thing that I ultimately look for when I meet a woman is chemistry. It’s daunting to define just what chemistry is - it’s like an x-factor that helps conversation flow between a man and a woman. There’s no effort, no walking on eggshells, or pickup artist tips required. We just “get” each other. My sense of humor makes her laugh, and vice versa. It’s a compatibility of personalities. But there’s more. There’s a spark, a sexual passion. Not only do we get along, but we turn each other on.
Finding chemistry with someone is hard to find, but when it does happen it is real. Most times, I think that we actually hinder the chance of chemistry happening. It could materialize much more than people allow. Chemistry can’t be forced, but it can be allowed or prevented. I find that I experience chemistry when I meet strangers more often than I used to. I attribute this to one thing: my social Intention.
In my younger years, I was mostlyworried with proving that I was good enough and fitting in. Ineeded others to like me. It was funny because often my fear of rejection would actually push me to reject others first, as a pre-emptive measure to protect my weak self-esteem. I was extremely critical and judgmental, andsometimes, outright hostile. I decided I didn’t likepeople before they disliked me first. That way it didn’t matter, and I felt less emotional pain.
But I was only substituting one sort of of pain - the short burst of anger and hurt fromdiscovering that someone didn’t like me – with thelong term, low-intensity pain of not having friends and feeling sociallypathetic.
No one wants to try hard when they socialize. Conversation is supposed to flow. Laughs should come easy and often. Yet this doesnt always happen. I meet people that I cant relate to, or bore me, and I understand that there are many who most likely say the same about me. But the relationships I have now with those people I click with are very strong, positive, and fun. The essentialdistinction in the interactions I have now, compared to when I was younger, is that I focus on drawing out the best in people,searching for {reasons to LIKE them|things I like about them}, instead of DISLIKE them.
By this time you almost certainlycan see that I love and useacronyms. Here’s another one, maybe my most ingenious one ever!
ME
What that actually makes me, me? To say it another way, where does my personality come from? From my thoughts, my perception based on the summation of my experience – my MENTAL EXPERIENCE.
When I meet a stranger, I want to share who I am, my genuine personality, so that they can get to know me (ME). And I want to draw out the same in them. I want their ME.
We’ve been talking about chemistry this whole time, and it is only possible when two people are being authentic with each other. A man and a woman can be genuine and open together andfind that they really dont enjoy or identify with each other. But if indeedthere is even the potential for chemistry – for that hard-to-find ’click’ - it can only happen in the absence ofpersona.
I’m sure there are times when you are totally authentic, and other times when you wear a false persona, or limit what you say out loud. Generally this is commonly an unconscious over-consideration of other people. If you’re able to consciously cultivate a strong ME focus,making sure to keep the conversation positive and based on sharing mental experience, you will discover that you will feel chemistry with others way more than you do now.
ME is a monstrous topic , something I spend many hours on in my training programs. I won’t go into elaborate detail in this article, but gocheck out my Love Stories, you’ll pick up on countless examples of ME at work.
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Duration : 0:4:20
Sam Botta Cindy Margolis LA Internet Online Dating Chemistry
Cindy Margolis talks online dating with Sam Botta. Even for a Playboy Centerfold, it’s difficult to find the right guy. Even for an L.A. “it girl”, it’s not always all bliss and chemistry and passionate kisses. Cindy Margolis tells Sam Botta that it’s not about looks – she’s been out with a lot of beautiful men. She said she doesn’t want a man that spends more time in front of the mirror than she does. She’s not a big chick lit novel reader, no Jennifer Weiner for her, Nanny Diaries, P.S. I Love You, just the real Cindy Margolis straight-talk about relationships after being in one for 20 years now being newly single. She says she’s tried online dating and of course we are not revealing which sites, but no longer bother searching Match, Friendfinder, Jdate, American Singles; and as you know there’s no searching Chemistry or Eharmony. Just know that between Cindy Margolis and Sam Botta, there’s not a chance you’ll see her on one of those sites, and there’s no scandal like with gal pal Shar she’s seen with a lot through the same contacts. The Playboy mystique didn’t create the negative press from the super wholesome Cindy Margolis. It’s the kind of relationship we all dream of that Cindy and Sam have seen others search for in online dating, some relationships grow inside the heart even in an iphone world where the technology of the science of bluetooth now in use by McCain, Clinton Obama can connect you with your ipod, car and even your gps device. The World Cup was seen on youtube while nations like India and China developed more, building education. Back at home, Leno, Letterman, Ellen, Dr. Phil and Limbaugh and even Springer talk through the psychology. South by Southwest is the way that those involved in the lifehacker online outsourcing community see concerts outdoors. It’s music that inspires a mind with fantasy to solve crossword puzzles. Imagination brings modern love. Friends with benefits, fine wine, fashion, art, magazine memorabilia, obituaries are in the newspaper journal. Times book reviews New York while Yahoo and Microsoft fight in the big apple on a blog. Singles meet at Starbucks these days while a nice guy takes a lady to dinner. Decisive models meet media moguls. Eisner fixes writers strike and after Walt Disney and Roy built hotel rooms near Orlando and Wal-mart owns where others rent. Target clothing style meets Banana Republic and Pottery Barn. There’s wine in Spain and a Barista donates a kidney. A traveler travels on a small budget. It’s true that he can live large like Donald Trump says Tim Ferriss who outsourced dating and life and vitamin supplements for fitness.
Duration : 0:1:1