How To Annoy Your Wife
Do you seek information on annoying or irritating your wife? You may be able to use this information, in the future. It can work for you, in an opposite way. You may be able to avoid future errors. Learn from the mistakes of others. Here are some lessons to consider.
Wait until it is a lovely warm afternoon. She will be sitting outside enjoying the weather. Perhaps she will be using her cell phone. The time is perfect for you to begin some yard work. Start your Poulan chainsaw. This will interrupt her calm and relaxing moment. You will irritate her. At the same time, you will show no regard for her feelings. This is a bonus. There are two irritations for the price of one.
Is she watching television? Maybe she is taking a break from housework. She may be watching a movie on her favorite woman’s cable channel. Come into the room for a few minutes. Attempt to watch the movie. This may not be an easy task. At least sit there for a few minutes.
It is time for the movie bashing game to begin. The rules are simple. There is only one hard part. You have to watch the movie for a few minutes, but then comes the fun. You ridicule and complain as much as you can. Poke fun at the people and the plot. Tell her how ridiculous it is.
This is an indirect approach of insult. By insulting something she likes, you insult her. You also insult her taste in movies, and intelligence. This can go a long ways toward marital discord.
Now it is time to show disregard for her possessions. Do have some household tasks like painting to do? Make it easy on yourself and annoy her at the same time. Open your can of paint. Take her hand mixer, and use it as a paint mixer.
You will now have plenty of time to paint in quiet. You will be undisturbed. She will be at the mall, looking at hand mixers. You perform another dual task. You get a paint mixer and irritate her, with one selfish incident.
After all of this work, you may need some rest. A simple apology will not do, for all of your insensitive behavior. You need a good excuse. An insanity plea is as good as it gets. Get a black helmet. Line this helmet with aluminum foil. Cover the entire helmet if you wish. She will ask you what you are doing. Tell her it is to stop the aliens. You no longer want them to intercept your brain waves. This may buy you some time. It may get you about 48 hours of rest in a nice quiet room.
Summary
Of course if you really want peace. Never attempt any of these procedures at home. The mistakes of other, may light the way to marital harmony.